Hickory Dickory Dock...
Three mice ran up the clock...
The clock struck one...
... but the other two got away with minor injuries.
Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A: A private tutor.
What did the mother worm say to her son when he was late for dinner?
"Where IN Earth have you been?!?!"
How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What does it matter?
It's just going to go out again, anyway.