"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
"Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? OH! Styling gel, Mousse, Something...?"
"I don't care what you've discovered, You still could have written!"
"Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
Why do you pronounce “queue” as “q”?
Because the other letters are waiting in line.
What's the difference between an umpire and a pickpocket?
One watches steals and the other steals watches.