Latest Jokes

My flight is getting ready to be pushed back from the gate when I get tapped on the shoulder from a lady sitting behind me.

"We are so blessed today, we have a Latter Day Saint's Missionary on Board," she says, "and no plane has ever crashed with an LDS Missionary on board."

I turn to her and say," Ma'am, we're doubly blessed today because no flight has ever crashed with me on board either!"

Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.

"Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other."

"Okay, you first," replied the other.

That was the end of the discussion.

Why do teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers?

"Because OMG they can’t even..."

Told my daughter at 20 to get a job or sleep in the garage...

20 years later she has done wonders with the garage!