Latest Jokes

Harold: Jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge is not dangerous.

Morris: How can you say that?

Harold: It’s s fact. Jumping off is not dangerous—it’s the sudden stop at the end that is.

Al: I got fired from my job as a bank guard.

Sam: What happened?

Al: A thief came into the bank. I drew the weapon and told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.

Sam: What did he do then?

Al: He took one more step, so I let him have it. Who wanted that stupid old gun, anyway?

An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work. He looked quite concerned at one notation.

"I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't offend anyone."

He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant "Short Of Breath" and not what he thought.