Latest Jokes

Node: Was aware of (past tense of Know)
Outpatient: Fainted
Pap smear: Fatherhood test
Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis
Prostate: Flat on your back
Protein: Favoring young people
Rectum: Dang near killed 'em
Seizure: Roman Emperor
Serology: Study of Knighthood
Tumor: An extra pair
Urine: Opposite of "you're out"
Varicose: Located near by

A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it.

"Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?"

"No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?"

I went to the home improvement store to buy some paint. I saw the Behr brand. It had a picture of a bear on the label. I’m not sure what “B-e-h-r" is supposed to spell but it isn’t bear.

I wasn’t going to buy a brand that doesn’t know there’s a difference in spellings.

I went with Sherwin Williams because it was clear with their brand name it would be a sher-win for me!

How are men like noodles?

They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.