Latest Jokes

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.

Aviator: First one wing came off and then the other.

Listener: What did you do?

Aviator: I grabbed a drumstick and had a second helping.

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Two Martians landed on a corner traffic light.

“I saw her first,” one said.

“So what?” the other Martian replied. “I’m the one she winked at.”