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Favorite this joke Looking at a home in a new neighborhood the prospective buyer ask the man next door: "Besides yourself, how many knaves do you suppose live on this street?"
"Besides myself?" replied the other. "Do you mean to insult me?"
"Well then," said the first. "How many do you reckon including yourself?"
An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand in marriage. The father said, "I would never let my daughter marry an actor."
The actor said, "Sir, I think you may change your mind if you see me perform. Won't you at least come and see the play?"
So the father went to see the play, and the next day he called the actor, "You were right. I did change my mind. Go ahead and marry my daughter. You're no actor."
Son: Dad, why aren’t elephants allowed on the beach?
Dad: Because they won’t keep their trunks up!
Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a salon. Her friend told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied Judi, "as long as I can sell the car."
"Okay," said Judi's friend. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, Judi made the trip to the mechanic. Two weeks later the friend asked Judi, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied Judi, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
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