Latest Jokes

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London, which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung.

The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''.

If he said YES, it was referred to as ONE FOR THE ROAD.

If he declined, that prisoner was ON THE WAGON.

So there you go.

Why did the banana go out with the prune?

Because he couldn't find a date!

"How did the man feel after being run over by a car?"

Answer: "Tired."