Latest Jokes

A wife told her husband that he put football before their marriage.

“That’s not true,” he said. “After all, this is our fourth season together.”

In my house, there is this light switch that doesn’t do anything.

Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.

Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”

Heard on a London Bus:

"When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.

If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."

A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.

She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.

He replied calmly, "Get the cat, and the tail, and we'll take them to Wal-Mart."

She was incredulous. "How could that possibly help?" she asked.

"Well," he replied, "they're the world's largest retailer."