The schoolteacher asked her class of young children to name one thing that was needed at their home.
“A Nintendo Wii!”
“Very good, Jim. How about you, Ann?”
"A Super Barbie doll’s house,” said Ann.
“That sounds nice, Ann. Little Johnny?”
Little Johnny remained silent.
“Surely there must be something you can think of, Little Johnny?”
“Really, Little Johnny? You do surprise me.”
“I know it’s true for a fact,” insisted Little Johnny. “Because last week my dad came home drunk, was sick all over the carpet, and my mom said it was the last thing we needed.”
An elderly American couple went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150".
The man thought about it and told him that he would just have his wife shipped home. The undertaker was surprised. He asked the man, "Why would you spend $5,000 to have your wife shipped home when it would be wonderful for her to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried, and three days later he rose from the dead. I can't take that risk."