What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
A family was traveling from Ontario to Winnipeg Manitoba and while driving on the highway they saw a sign... CLEAN WASHROOMS AHEAD.
By the time they got to Winnipeg they had cleaned more than 1000 washrooms.
Teacher: "Where is your home work?"
Student: "Please visit my home page or follow me in instagram."