Two girls were watching guys who were arriving at their favorite bar. "Who's that really cute guy?" one of them asked.
"Oh, that guy is a loser, he's always bouncing around between girls," says the second girl.
"Just tell me his name," the 1st girl suggests.
"Rick O'Shay," says the 2nd girl.
A forester often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines. Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, a forester encountered signs that read: "No Trespassing", "Beware of Dog", and "Keep Out... This Means You!"
Finally arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner.
When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, "Come and see me again sometime. I don't get many visitors up this way."
Two elderly gentlemen in their mid-80s meet in the lobby of their apartment building. Both being hard of hearing, one asked the other in a louder voice, "Are you going to the market?"
The other one replies, "No, no. I am going to the market."
The first gentleman says, "Oh, I thought you were going to the market."