Latest Jokes

A professor at a museum noticed his tomb exhibit was empty.

He walks by a little boy who is lost and crying.

He asked the boy what's wrong. "I want my mommy!" the boy sniffed.

The professor said, "I know how you feel, I want my mummy too!"

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 93 years old, and she's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?"

The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family."

"What do you call it?"

"We call it a football wedding."

The first asks, "What's a football wedding?"

The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"

Jake: If you were in a line at a ticket window, and the man in front of you was going to Chicago and the money lady behind you was going to Atlanta, where would you be going?

Fran: I don’t know.

Jake: If you don’t know where you are going, why are you in line?

Jill: I can stay underwater for ten minutes!

Jack: That’s impossible!

Jill: (takes a glass of water and holds it over her head for ten minutes.) See, I told you!