Latest Jokes

4 votes

Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.

A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.

"No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date. He'll be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl."

"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.

"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”

“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”

“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”

“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

3 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

What is it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?

A reptile dysfunction.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes
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Two guys find three grenades and they decide to take them to the police station.

One asks, "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other replies, "We'll lie and say we only found two."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |