The Dean is hospitalized after a heart attack.
As he is lying in his hospital bed reflecting on his near brush with death, an attendant arrives with a lovely bouquet of flowers.
The Dean asks the attendant to hand him the card and finds that it reads, "By a vote of 26 to 3 with 2 abstentions, the faculty wish you a speedy recovery."
One day a man walked into a barbershop wearing headphones. ”Give me a trim,” he said to the barber, “but don’t take off my headphones off or I’ll die.”
As the barber began to cut the man’s hair, he realized the headphones were in the way and took them off. A few moments later, the man slumped to the floor dead.
Picking up the headphones, the barber put them to his ear and heard a voice saying, “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...”