A woman turned to her boyfriend after yet another long game in a cold stadium and asked, "Why on earth do you like professional sports so much?"
"Look at it this way," he said. "Where else can we boo millionaires to their faces?"
The wife told her husband, "Let's go antique shopping today. I'm feeling Victorian."
"No," he said, "let's not... I'm feeling baroque!"
Father: The man who marries my daughter gets a prize.
Suitor: Can I see the prize first?
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.