Latest Jokes

Starving after hours of driving nonstop, my husband and I pulled over at a truck stop. While he gassed up the car, I went into the restaurant and placed our order to go.

After writing it all down, the girl behind the register asked, “Will that be all for you?”

“No,” I replied a bit defensively. “Some of it’s for my husband.”

Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it.

The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline "Valiant Student Saves Boy From Fearsome Dog."

The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.

The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, "Pompous Stock Broker Kills School Mascot."

A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmers yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt. The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?"

The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car.

While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said OK, he said "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson." With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.

As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the passenger side. And, one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!"