Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke As I was admitted the hospital for a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet."
"Has it got rubies and diamonds?" I ask coyly.
"No," he said. "But it cost just as much."
6th Place
won
$9.00
Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
10th Place
won
$5.00
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
Father: “Son, you’ve been looking skinny lately, you should eat more food.”
Son responds swiftly by going to a fast food restaurant, planning to order a hefty amount of food.
Son to cashier: “Let me get three double bacon cheeseburgers, two large shakes, and four medium fries.”
Cashier: “Will that be all?”
Son: “Will that be all? Do you realize how much food I just ordered? First my father thinks I don’t eat enough, now you?”
Cashier: “Can I get you anything else today?”
Son: “You know this is unbelievable, I’m really making an effort here!”
Cashier: “Would you like to see our specials?”
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