Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.
"What do you think?" she said
He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"
Father: “Son, you’ve been looking skinny lately, you should eat more food.”
Son responds swiftly by going to a fast food restaurant, planning to order a hefty amount of food.
Son to cashier: “Let me get three double bacon cheeseburgers, two large shakes, and four medium fries.”
Cashier: “Will that be all?”
Son: “Will that be all? Do you realize how much food I just ordered? First my father thinks I don’t eat enough, now you?”
Cashier: “Can I get you anything else today?”
Son: “You know this is unbelievable, I’m really making an effort here!”
Cashier: “Would you like to see our specials?”