Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 7 votes

A secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you."

"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."

"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile."

7 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Tristan Cook" |
1 votes

“Your Honor,” said the smartest lawyer in the world, “my client is not guilty. He merely inserted his arm into a window and stole some jewelry. His arm is not himself. I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by one arm.”

“I agree,” nodded the judge. “I hereby sentence the defendant’s arm to one year in prison. He may accompany the arm or not.”

“Thank you, Your Honor,” said the defendant as he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Karen Carpenter Fan" |
2 votes

One day Al was driving to the lake for a swim when he noticed a man on the side of the highway dressed all in red.

“Who are you?” asked Al as he pulled up to the stranger.

“I’m the Man in Red and I’m very hungry,” said the man.

Reaching into his lunch sack, Al pulled out a sandwich, handed it to the man, then sped off down the road.

A few miles later, Al spotted another man, this time dressed all in yellow.

“What can I do for you?” asked Al.

“I’m the Man in Yellow and I’m very thirsty.”

Pulling out a can of soda, Al handed the Coke to the man , then resumed his journey.

Anxious to get to the lake before sunset, Al put his foot to the pedal and roamed off down the road, only to spot yet another man, dressed all in blue, signaling for Al to stop.

“Don’t tell me!” said Al impatiently. “You’re the Man in Blue, right?”

”That's right!” replied the man.

”Well, what do you want?”

”Driver’s license and registration, please.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "Karen Carpenter Fan" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

My local college just announced the end of a scientific study...

Results showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

5 votes

CATEGORY Science Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |