Latest Jokes

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

“I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car,” he said.

“That’s right, sir,” the salesman answered. “We will replace anything that breaks.”

“Fine, I need a new garage door.”

After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.

"Terry," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"

An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Richard, "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Richard again, "Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes," says Richard, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Richard, "Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"

Richard says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"