I was talking with my best friend the other day, and we talked about a very beautiful girl who was married to a very rich yet very ugly man.
"What a pity!" she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"It's a pity I wasn't the bride," she said with a deep sigh.
Mikey: "I ate a submarine sandwich for lunch and I think I'm going to be sick."
Mother: "What makes you say that?"
Mikey: "It's starting to surface."
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
What else, a chicken tender!
When I was a kid we had a game of trying to catch fireflies...
We called it HIDE-AND-GLOW-SEEK.