Latest Jokes

I went to a smoke shop to discover that it has been replaced by an apparel store...

Clothes, but no cigar.

Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."

Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"

Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."

A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.

"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.

"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."

Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.

"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."

The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."