Latest Jokes

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

The teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"

Grandpa replies, "Nope."

"Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"

"A wedding ring."

To show his appreciation to the community, the military base commanding officer held an open house. This included a free meal in the mess hall.

A young private was busing tables when he noticed a family leaving a large tip. "Excuse me. We can't accept tips," he told them.

"It's not for you," said the woman. "That's to help send your cook to culinary school."

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”

“Last night at 11:00,” I said.

“And the tires were on it then?”

Trying to disguise his voice, Carl calls his ex-wife and asks to speak to himself.

Jody, his former wife says, "Carl, look, we are not married anymore -- quit bothering me!"

The next day, Carl calls again, resulting in the same sequence of events.

The following day though when he calls, his ex-wife says, "Listen. I told you we're divorced, split, it's over -- period! We're divorced. Why do you keep calling here?"

"Well Jody, it's just that I can't hear that often enough."