Latest Jokes

2 votes

An elderly man was sitting on his porch rocking back and forth. He seemed to be having a long discussion with himself. Every once in a while he broke into loud laughter. At other times, he shouted “Phooey” in disgust.

A policeman passing by stopped to watch the man and asked him what was going on. “I’m telling myself jokes,” the old man told him. “And if I say so myself, most of them are funny.”

“Then why do you keep saying ‘phooey’?" the policeman asked.

“I only say that when I heard ‘em before.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
3 votes

A man bought a mousetrap. When he brought it home, he discovered that he had no cheese to bait it with. So he found a picture of some cheese and put the picture in the trap.

The next morning he went to the trap to see if it had caught anything. The picture of the cheese was gone. In its place was a picture of a mouse.

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
4 votes

There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I'm stumped."

His buddy says, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!"

The first fellow does just that. The next day, his buddy asks, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?"

"She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours!'"

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
7 votes

Looking for the appropriate book for a couple celebrating fifty years of marriage I went to the antique book store.

Asking the owner for a suggestion, he had a recommendation.

He recommended a copy of Parkman's "A Half Century of Conflict."

7 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Egbert" |