A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband.
"Do I look fat in this dress?" the wife asks.
"Do I look dumb in this shirt?" the husband replies.
I can't find my 'Gone in 60 Seconds' DVD...
I could have sworn it was here a minute ago!
I once ate a dictionary...
Never again, I ended up with thesaurus throat I've ever had!
After being widowed for a few years my sister recently remarried.
When I saw her I asked, "I'll bet your husband talks about his first wife?"
"Not anymore," she told me.
"I began to talk about my next husband."