Latest Jokes

As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place was packed with patients. The nurses and doctors all seemed frazzled.

I discovered just how frazzled when a doctor walked into the room, pulled out his examination light, pointed it in my ear, and instructed me, "Say 'Ah"...."

An elderly woman walks into the butcher shop and shouts at the butcher, "That leg of lamb you sold me last week shrunk by six inches when I cooked it!"

"That's funny," said the butcher, "my wife knitted me a jumper, and when I washed it, it shrunk by six inches."

"Must have been from the same sheep."

After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.

"Honey," I said, "what are you doing in here? I left the motor running."

"It's all right, Mom," she replied reassuringly. "I locked the doors."