Latest Jokes

8 votes

About a year after her husband died, the widow Smith herself died. When she arrived at the pearly gates she ask if she could see her former husband.

"What's his name? "

"Joe Smith."

"You'll have to give us better identification than that. Maybe his last words? We classify each arrival that way."

"Well, just before he died he said to me, 'Katie, if you ever waste any of my hard earned dollars, I'll turn over in my grave.'"

"Oh, sure we know him. We call him Whirling Joe up here."

8 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$7.00 won 10 votes

Pickpocket (visiting friend in jail): "I hired a lawyer for you this morning, Slim, but I had to hand him my Rolex as a retainer."

Slim: "Did he keep it?"

Pickpocket: "He thinks he did."

10 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Egbert" |
2 votes

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

2 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$50.00 won 9 votes

What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

9 votes

posted by "Gegg Smith" |