Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
What starts with an "O" and ends with "nions" and sometimes make you cry?
Little Johnny came home from school with a sofa slung across his back I'm and armchairs under his arms.
His father said, ”Little Johnny, I told you not to accept suites from strangers.”
Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is.