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Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"
Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."
Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."
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Dear Monday,
Just saying, your friends Saturday and Sunday are just more fun.
Nothing personal.
A priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass scheduled for that day. His brother, of course, agreed.
It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask the gender of the deceased. This was information that he would need for his remarks during the service.
Thinking quickly, as he approached the first pew where the deceased's relatives were seated, he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?"
"Cousin," she replied.
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