Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Where would you most likely see a Cosmonaut?
Look in a Mir.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
I sometimes just make my coffee with Red Bull instead of water...
Ironically when I do, I get halfway to work before I realize I left my car at home.