Latest Jokes

$8.00 won 4 votes

Grandson: "When did you first realize you were getting old, grandpa?"

Grandpa: "When I started having my midnight snack at 9:30 pm."

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes
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There was a rabbi in a small town and he was really curious about why so many people ate pork. He really wanted to try some, but there was nowhere in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend, he made an excuse and traveled to a distant town, went into a restaurant, and ordered the first pork item on the menu.

While he was waiting for his order of pork, the president of his congregation walked in. He saw the rabbi and asked if he could join him for dinner, and the rabbi had no choice but to agree. A while later, the waiter returned with the rabbi's meal. He took the cover off the large platter, and there was a whole roast pig with an apple in its mouth.

The congregation president was more than a little shocked.

"What a fancy place," explained the rabbi quickly. "Just look at how they serve the apple I ordered."

3 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes
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"I lost twenty pounds in one day."

"How did you do that?"

"I left my lunch on the bus."

2 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
$12.00 won 3 votes
 

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. He happened to mention that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it.

"Not Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

"Yes, that was it!"

"You idiot! You've thrown away one of the first books ever printed. A copy recently sold at an auction for half a million dollars!"

"Oh, I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied the man. "It was scribbled all over in the margins by some guy named Martin Luther."

3 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "HENNE" |