My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at.
He went to town in a $10,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.
I thought, "Nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $15,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle.
A Greyhound bus.
The percussionist, tired of being teased by her band-mates, decides to switch instruments.
She walks into the local music shop, points to her choices and says, “I’ll take that trumpet and that accordion.”
The shop assistant looks at her for a second and replies, “Okay, you can take the fire extinguisher, but the radiator’s not for sale.”
A wife served some homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast and waited eagerly for her husband’s reaction.
When none was immediately forthcoming, she asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”
Without looking up from his newspaper, he replied, “About ten years.”