Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 4 votes

"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen... the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"Okay Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."

"I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."

4 votes

CATEGORY Dentist Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 5 years ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG 5 years ago, you would have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 5 years ago, you would have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

And as a bonus... A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 2 votes
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Why don't skeletons ever get mad?

Nothing gets under their skin.

2 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "S.Sovetts" |
$25.00 won 6 votes

The other day my wife started a conversation with a weird question...

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!?!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "barber7796" |