Latest Jokes

During the vows at the wedding the minister asks the bride to be, "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband for better or worse?"

The bride answers, "Just as he is Father. If he gets any better, I know the Lord will take him, and if he gets any worse, I'll tend to him myself."

Him: "Since Mr. Wilson has lost his money, half his friends don't know him anymore."

Her: "And the other half?"

Him: "They don't know yet that he's lost his money."

A friend of mine told her husband they had a Catholic bird in their yard.

"A what? How do you know it's a Catholic bird?"

"Because it's a Cardinal."

The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion.

"Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge.

"Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it."