Three weeks ago I sent my hearing aid in for repair...
I’ve heard nothing since.
Nearly 100% of all deaths occur on Earth...
That makes it the deadliest planet in the Solar System.
I love bacon.
Sometimes I eat it twice a day.
It helps take my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.
A tourist stopped at a country gas station. While his car was being serviced, he noticed an old-timer basking in the sun with a piece of rope in his hand. The tourist walked up to the old-timer and asked, “What do you have there?”
“That’s a weather gauge, sonny,” the old-timer replied.
“How can you possibly tell the weather with a piece of rope?”
“It’s simple,” said the old-timer. “When it swings back and forth, it’s windy, and when it gets wet, it’s raining.”