Latest Jokes

Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused to admire our neighbor's new boat.

"Sure is a beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles was conservative when it came to spending money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?"

"The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied. "But the extras really hurt."

"You mean things like water skis, life jackets, and trailer?" my father asked.

"No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean what the wife wanted - the new carpet, the kitchen cabinets, and the cabin room furniture."

Little Johnny: I’m so glad you named me Little Johnny.

Mother: Why do you say that?

Little Johnny: Because that’s what all the kids in school call me.

Woman: Doctor, please come quickly! My little boy has just swallowed my fountain pen!

Doctor: Of course, I’ll be right there. What are you doing in the meantime?

Woman: Using a pencil.

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean. He asked the clerk.

The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation.

The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."