Latest Jokes

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.

At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

Riddle me this...

If 2 vegans fight, is it still a beef?

Or is it a beet down?

I was talking with my mother-in-law about our daughter's picky eating habits.

"She refuses to eat fish," I told her. "Any recommendations for a replacement?"

She thought a moment, then answered, "Cats. They love fish."

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it?

Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground!

Master: You will have to wash it again!

Servant: Again, Sir?

Master: I'm a stickler for cleanliness. So anything that falls on the ground has to be washed with soap and water.

Servant: I'll remember that.

The next morning...

Servant: Sir, here is your newspaper.

Master: Yes! But why is it soaking wet, You idiot?

Servant: While i was bringing it to you i dropped it on the ground.... But I remembered your instructions and washed it thoroughly with soap and water.