Latest Jokes

$5.00 won 3 votes

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.

I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.

"At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "merk" |
$8.00 won 4 votes
 

A large passenger plane is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 35,000 feet, when suddenly an F-22 Raptor appears. The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus flight, a boring flight isn't it? Take care and have a look here!"

He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, only to swoop down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the plane and asks, "Well, how was that?"

The airplane pilot answers: "Very impressive, but now have a look here!"

The jet pilot watches the plane, but nothing happens. It continues to fly stubbornly straight, with the same speed. After five minutes, the plane pilot radioed, "Well, what are you saying now?"

The jet pilot asks confused: "What did you do?"

The other laughs and says, "I got up, stretched my legs, went to the back of the flight to the bathroom, got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon cake."

4 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...

Now I can't read anything.

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Chavez P" |
0 votes

Ernie: The national sport in Spain is bull fighting and in England it’s cricket.

Bernie: I’d rather play in England.

Ernie: Why do you say that?

Bernie: It’s easier to fight crickets.

0 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |