Bob: What are you doing with a pencil and paper?
Ted: I’m writing a letter to my brother.
Bob: But you don’t know how to write.
Ted: That’s okay, my brother can’t read.
There was once a bass guitar player that was getting a divorce from his wife. The court ordered that his wife was guaranteed to HALF of what he owned.
So she got his E string and his D string.
If Lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,...
Doesn’t it then follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
- The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
- You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
- The cardiologist's diet... if it tastes good, spit it out.
- You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.
- When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.