Latest Jokes

As the son of a college professor and a professor myself, I hoped my sons would go to college. But after our oldest found that the courses that he wanted to take at the university were full, he got discouraged. I went to the registrar. I'd heard he was a stickler for rules, so I was floored when the man asked, "What classes would he like?" and took care of the problem on his computer.

Seeing my surprise, he explained that years before he was in the same situation as my son. He'd met a professor who took him to the enrollment lines and got him into every class he wanted. "That man was your father. By any chance, is he still alive?"

I nodded, and he smiled. "Good," he said. "Tell him we're even."

Teacher: "Laura, were you copying Mandy's answers?"

Laura: "No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right."

Car owner: "Were you able to get my car started?"

Mechanic: "I'm afraid not, sir, the battery's flat."

Car owner: "What shape is it supposed to be?"