If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Money doesn't buy happiness?
Well, it does buy a jet ski.
Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?
Mary had a little lamb...
And two nurses who passed out in the delivery room.