Dad to his son: “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?!”
Son: “Go on, then.”
Dad growls: “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
Son: “Dad, that’s Superman!”
Dad: “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"
Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."
I don’t always go the extra mile...
But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike.
''Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.''
''Easy, Dad,'' the boy replied. ''I earned it hiking.''
''Come on,'' the father said, ''tell me the truth?''
''That is the truth,'' the boy replied. ''Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!''