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A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object that represented their religion to share with the class.
The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."
The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Presbyterian, and this is a casserole."
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.
As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.
"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk quipped to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway."
Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "Sure."
The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"
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