Latest Jokes

For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. "That was a nice shot," I commented.

"It's my passport picture," she revealed.

"Really?" I stared in complete amazement at my homebody grandma. "Where did you go?"

"Walgreens," she replied.

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx...

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

I am a 65 year old volunteer teacher's assistant at my church's daycare. On the end of the second week of the start of school, one nice 5 year old girl that I noticed was observing me for days finally approached me and said:

"I know how old you are! You are 30 years old."

With shock and surprise in my voice, I said, "Oh my goodness, my grand daughter just turned 30!"

The 5 year old then said, "Wow, that is something! You and your grand daughter are the same age!"

What tree has the most hair?

A fir tree!