Latest Jokes

When the ice-maker on our refrigerator broke, my husband dropped by the local hardware to find the part. Because the sun was so bright that day and the interior of the store was dark, his eyes hadn't quite adjusted when he walked in.

He accidentally stepped on the foot of a woman examining some samples. She screamed, causing my husband to jump sideways into a display of fireplace tools that went crashing in every direction. Unnerved, he stumbled over to the service desk, and as he put his hands on the counter, he flipped over a bowl of marbles, scattering them everywhere.

After taking a deep breath to calm himself, he announced to the wide-eyed woman working there, "My refrigerator doesn't work."

She replied, simply, "I don't doubt it."

How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?

"If elected, I promise..."

They say that an apple a day will keep the doctor away...

Why stop there?

An onion a day will keep everybody away!

Two men were discussing the merits of a book. Finally one of them - himself an author - said to the other, "You can't appreciate it because you never wrote a book yourself."

"No, I have not" the other man retorted, "but then again, I never laid an egg and yet I'm still a better judge of an omelet than any hen."