Latest Jokes

2 votes

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!

FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA
backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
0 votes

Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus:

10. Co-workers refer to you as ''the ghost of unemployment future.''
9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial.

8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips.
7. What you call ''my new office'' everybody else calls ''the supply closet.''

6. Boss's Christmas card says, ''Don't let the door hit you on the way out.''
5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants.

4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, he was crushed under an avalanche of stolen office supplies.
3. Whenever you ask for a raise, a guy shows up at your house and breaks your jaw.

2. In your most recent performance evaluation, the word ''terrible'' appeared 78 times.
1. You're the starting quarterback for the New York Jets.

0 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
$8.00 won 7 votes
 

I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.

"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.

The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

7 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 7 votes
 

I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"

She said, "I'm Alexa you moron."

7 votes

Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |