Want to feel old?
A celebrity you’ve never heard of has never heard of a celebrity that you have heard of.
My doctor has an odd sense of humor.
When I broke my leg skiing he thought it was humerus.
I told the waitress my steak was bad.
She picked it up, slapped it, and threw it back down.
She said, "If it gives you any more trouble, let me know."
Occasionally you hear about a really dry spell in Texas.
I always thought the stories exaggerated until I got a birthday card last week.
They attached the stamp with a staple.