I visited my new friend in his apartment.
He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out, I hate visitors.
Me: My tire's making a whistling sound.
Mechanic: Sounds like a flat.
Me: More like an F sharp.
A knitting/crocheting group at a local senior center donated handmade hats and scarves to my office to give to folks in need over the holidays.
What made my day was their group name: The Senior Hookers!
Child: Mom, do angels fly?
Mom: Yes, they do.
Child: Then why doesn’t our maid fly?
Mom: But she is not an angel.
Child: Yes, she is. Dad calls her angel.
Mom: Does he? All right, you will see her fly tomorrow.