Latest Jokes

1 votes
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Husband throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even a single throw hitting the target.

From another room the wife calls, "Honey, what are you doing?"

Husband: "MISSING YOU..."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

Teacher: If two people told you they walked five miles in a straight line into a desert how many miles would they have walked together?

Little Johnny: They would have walked 10 miles together.

Teacher: That isn’t correct Johnny, they walked 5 miles together, so the answer is 5 miles and not a combined total of 10 miles.

Little Johnny, nope, it’s 10 miles and I’ll betcha a buck.

Teacher: You’re on! Now explain to the class how you arrived at 10 total miles. BTW, I’ll let you off the hook for the dollar.

Little Johnny: You said two people told me they told me they’d walked in a straight line five miles into the desert. How could they have told me this unless they walked backed? That’s ten miles in my book and I’m not letting you off the hook, change will be fine.

2 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Wife: peck, peck… peck-peck-peck, that old Royal Typewriter drives me nuts. I wish you’d get rid of it and just type on your desk top and print it out like everyone else.

Husband: I just can’t get rid of it. This old typewriter is like a dear friend that has served me well.

Wife: Like an old friend that served you well? Pray tell dear husband, if you can name one instance of actual service I’ll never complain again.

Husband: I can name two things off the top of my head. It got me an early retirement; the incessant peck peck peck, drove my boss nuts too.

Wife: OK, I’ll give you that one but what’s the other thing?

Husband: You did say you’d quit complaining right?

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

Stepping up to the counter at the fast-food restaurant, I asked for a baked potato with butter on the side.

With the gusto of someone newly employed, the teenager taking my order asked, “Which side?”

2 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |