Latest Jokes

$10.00 won 1 votes

A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for
selling his land. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses
where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one
would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.

1 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Susan Paetznick" |
$15.00 won 3 votes

Ann Landers challenged her readers to come up with the world's third-biggest lie -- right after "The check is in the mail" and "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you." Here is a sampling from the thousands she received:

- "It's a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in stock."

- "Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height."

- "You made it yourself? I never would have guessed."

- "Of course I'll respect you in the morning."

- "You don't look a day over 40."

- "Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study."

- "It's delicious, but I can't eat another bite."

- "The new ownership won't affect you. The company will remain the same."

- "The puppy won't be any trouble, Mom. I promise I'll take care of it myself."

- "Your hair looks just fine."

- "Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there."

- "You don't need it in writing. You have my personal guarantee."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "merk" |
$8.00 won 1 votes

What is a social drinker?

If someone says, "I'll have a beer please," a social drinker always replies, "Social I!”

1 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Karen Carpenter Fan" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

The fact that there is a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot...

A lot about the anticipated traffic numbers.

1 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "greens52" |