Latest Jokes

I just got my boyfriend a 'get better soon' card.

He isn't sick, I just think he can get better.

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.

Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.

He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact."

"Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."

I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.

I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked the security if I could take a picture, they said “yes.”