Latest Jokes

$9.00 won 2 votes

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.

When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids...."

I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food"... no matter what my husband replies, I know I now have it.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "merk" |
$9.00 won 1 votes
 

A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"

"That's great," his wife said.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$12.00 won 2 votes
 

After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news.

"We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good I'm afraid," the doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice.

Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young. She's only forty-five."

"Thirty-Seven," came the weak reply from Lena.

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$25.00 won 2 votes

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it is apparent.

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "peterg" |