Latest Jokes

1 votes

My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:

"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk... it's only at 1%!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Greg F" |
2 votes

At this week's family history and tradition class, the teacher asked the young class how to describe old folks.

Olivia raised her hand and answered, "Over the Hill."

"Yes, good answer," said the teacher.

"Yes, Johnny, do you have another nickname?"

"Long in the Toot," Johnny responded.

The teacher corrected him. "You meant Long in the Tooth, didn't you?"

"Not at all, you never been behind my Grandpa, have you?"

2 votes

posted by "OscarElPaso" |
1 votes
 

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "merk" |
2 votes

Teacher: What are you grateful for?

Megan: I’m grateful for the big man upstairs.

Little Johnny: Not me, the big man upstairs drives me nuts! He practices river dancing every night for an hour.

2 votes

posted by "Marty" |