Latest Jokes

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An elderly woman in our church congregation had an older-model car that was in excellent condition. As she was driving to town one afternoon, her car was struck by another auto. The insurance company told her that, after considering the car's age, they would give her a settlement on the damage. When the cheque arrived, she was unhappy with the low amount and went to see her insurance agent.

Pulling open his desk drawer, he said, "I have a little blue book in here that says that's all your car is worth."

"Well," she replied, "I have a little black book at home that says, 'Thou shalt not steal.'"

She got a higher settlement.

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CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |
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When I babysit for my minister's three-year-old, one of our favorite games is "Go Fish".

One evening, after winning several rounds, she kept bragging about how good she was.

Jokingly, I said to her, "I'm going to have to teach you a little humility."

Immediately she looked up and asked, "How do you play that?"

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posted by "merk" |
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How many parrots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They say “toucan do it.”

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posted by "Christaffer" |
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Many years back, a man by the name of Joshua had to go before my uncle, who was a judge in magistrate court, to be sentenced for a crime he had committed.

Uncle Walter jokingly said, "Are you the Joshua that made the sun stand still?"

The man seriously replied, "No, sir, Your Honor. I'm the Joshua that made the moonshine."

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CATEGORY Judge Jokes
posted by "merk" |