Latest Jokes

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it very difficult for me to chase and catch rats."

The optometrist then gives him an eye test and prescribes a pair of glasses; the snake then thanks the optometrist and leaves. A few months later, the snake comes back for a check up and the optometrist asks him how his new glasses have been.

"Oh, wonderful!" the snake replies happily. "I can see better than ever now and my rat catching prowess has more than doubled! However... now I'm depressed."

"Depressed?" the optometrist asks, perplexed. "Why?"

"Well, since I got them, I found out that I'd been in love with a garden hose all this time."

Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
A: Women working at 900 numbers.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him.

Q: Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
A: No phone numbers.

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

I use an extra sensitive toothpaste...

It doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.