Latest Jokes

Guest to the waiter: "Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?"

Waiter: "Sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure she wants to eat it herself."

So the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm.

He said: “Will painkillers help?"

I said: “It wouldn't hurt.”

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week. His wife answered the door, and said "He can work for you, but it will cost you $500."

"That much?" asked the man.

"But you're getting my husband and his otter," said the wife. "They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"But I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350," the man countered.

"Sorry," she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."