At the airport for his 9-year-old son's first big trip by himself, after checking in on the phone with Grandma and Grandpa.
Dad - "So what did Grandma say on the phone?"
Son - "She said I love you, can't wait to see you, we're going to have so much fun...and...uh...something about 'We will rot you?'"
Dad - "Do you mean 'spoil you?'"
Son - "Yes! That's the word. I couldn't find it in my brain."
A Greek man walks into a Greek tailor shop holding a pair of old tattered jeans.
The blind old tailor squints at him, "Euripedes?"
The man nods and holds up the pants, "Eumenedes?"
Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kanobe were visiting a Chinese restaurant one day. After being brought their meals, Luke attempted to use the chopsticks, but never quite got the hang of it and kept dropping food everywhere, with utterly frustrated him.
"Do not despair, young Skywaler," Obi-Wan said. "Just use the forks."
What do you call it when your mother's sisters all gather at a funeral to avenge your death?
Vigil Aunties